Today, my mind decides to play visions of a happy little baby/toddler in mine and my husband’s life. Thinking of how it would be having a “daddy’s little girl” in a cute pink dress sitting in his lap, or walking around trying to reach up to us to hold her. Or maybe a little boy… “Little E” (my husband’s nickname is “Big E” because he’s 6’3″ former college football player) running around with toy Transformers (my husband’s favorite cartoon growing up… still collects the toys from it) or going hunting/fishing/whatever with Uncle Alex and coming home to tell me all about the “BIG BUCK” they saw.
Only problem is, we don’t have that baby neither here or on the way. With my A1c not being on target for pregnancy, and trying everything in our power not to get pregnant, it seems to be that one thing that I want but can’t have. And it’s not like a new house or new car, but just that part of me that wants to be complete… that part of me that my cats can’t take the place of. Although with times as they are with the recession and all, it’s probably not the wisest thing to do right now. And yes, I know, that when the time is right, God will make a way for us to be able to have our little munchkin.
So, until then, I have my goal to work on for my A1c and two loving cats to be my babies.