Today, I called my dad to check on him and see how things were going with his blood sugars. He went to his primary care doctor and they checked him there and he got a nice 95mg/dl, 3 hours after lunch and about 30 minutes after ice-cream from Sonic. He also got the doctor to check his A1c as well, and it came back at 5.7, so the doctor said he wasn’t worried about pre-diabetes with dad. Of course, I couldn’t help but get a little excited since mine was 6.0 last time… SO close to a “normal” person’s A1c. Had me thinking maybe this pregnancy-baby-motherhood thing really was possible. Not to mention, reading Kerri’s blog posts in relation to pregnancy help ease my mind too.

His blood pressure was a little elevated still, but the doctor told him to just exercise a little more and lose about 10 pounds and he should be okay. But to say he’s in his mid-50’s and nothing else major is wrong, he’s doing quite well. It was such a relief to hear that!!!

Thanks to all of you who posted well-wishes here and on Twitter.

My dad scheduled an appointment with a nearby clinic that was having a “health fair” sort of deal. Basically, you pay a flat fee of $280 and they check everything on you. Blood pressure, cholesterol, glucose, bone density, nerves, arteries, the works. Well, he went and a lot of stuff showed as being on the high-side of where he needed to be. Nothing too drastic, just a little off. I had honestly forgotten about him going for the appointment until I was at lunch that day and I got a call on my cell phone.

“Hey. Whatcha doing? I need you to check my sugar. I’ll run by there in a minute”. That’s basically all he said. Since I had forgotten about his appointment being scheduled for that morning, I went into panic. I thought he was out on a call (he’s a self-contractor), and maybe he felt like his sugar dropped. Or if maybe he was having high symptoms. I had no clue, and my mind went racing. He doesn’t have diabetes, but he knows the signs because of me being diabetic. When he came in, he sat down and told me about his appointment (that’s when it all clicked in my brain), and said they told him his sugar was high. As I was loading the clicker with a new lancet, he showed me the paperwork. I quickly ran over the numbers. Yes, things were out of line, especially his blood pressure which was really elevated. Then I got to the bottom where the fasting glucose was. 115mg/dl. I had to look twice. 115 mg/dl…. 115 mg/dl!!??  They are telling him he has pre-diabetes because his glucose is 115mg/dl!!??? I can’t believe this. Apparently things have changed from when the “normal” range used to be 80-120. We checked with mine and it came out to be 105. I know that anything above 100 is now considered pre-diabetes, but come on. This was one test. One isolated incident, and the nurse was asking him if he was diabetic. He was freaked out. It was like someone had just told him it was Doom’s Day or something. Me? I wasn’t worried about it because it was just one test. I told him to go to Wal-Mart and get a Wavesense meter and strips and keep a check on his sugar before and 2 hrs after a few meals and take it to his doctor when the rest of the lab work came in from that health fair screening. I was more worried about his blood pressure being up as high as it was (149/99), which he swears is “white coat syndrome” (which, I know for a fact is a true thing because my husband has the same issue.). I also suggested for him to get a home blood pressure monitor as well. Hopefully he’ll start testing both and will get a few good solid days of readings to take to his doctor.

That night, he came back over to my house for my husband to work on a computer part for him, and he said he was on his way back to get strips from Wal-Mart because he mis-read the box and thought it came with some. He came in the middle of me giving my Symlin pen and changing my pod. He cringed when I took the shot, and again when the pod fired the cannula into me. It made me wonder if he’s ever looked at diabetes as more than just a worry-filled, awful, no good disease, but rather as something that is manageable if you try.

Getting a diagnosis of prediabetes or diabetes is a lot to take in for anyone, but it’s not a death sentence. You can still live a life just like anyone else would, just with a few added steps.

Guess what? Sugabetic.com is a year old!

I started blogging on April 24th, 2009. (I know, I’m a few days late in posting this, but Saturday was filled with home repairs and an afternoon photo shoot, so I didn’t have the time to get it all together.) A friend from the DOC encouraged me to start a blog because of my emails and other blog posts on TuDiabetes. So, not knowing if this was going to be something to stick around and become a part of my life or if it was going to be something I tried once and quit, I took the plunge and did it. I have gone through several names for this blog, as all of you who have followed me since I started this adventure know, but I have stuck with “sugabetic” for a pretty good little while and I intend on keeping it foreva – name and all.

For a year in review, I decided to look back over all my prior posts. Here’s a run-down of the topics.

April ‘09 – one post – I let me feelings be known about wanting to get myself healthy enough for a baby. The picture that was posted there was of my nephew’s feet.

May ‘09 – Technically this one was posted in June, but it was written in May. I wrote about the new Omnipod PDM and my thoughts on it.

June ‘09 – Pizza… trying to figure out whether to have it or say no since I’m sincerely trying to get better bg numbers. Of course, I say “yes”!

July ‘09 – That’s not a purse, that’s my diabetic gadget holder!

Aug ‘09 – It’s my birthday, so I’m “Having my cake and eating it too”, all the while “Comparing CGM’s to Crayons”, and complaining about my “The diabetic pincushions” fingers.

Sept ‘09 – Mom got me the crayola (Insurance co approved the Dexcom), I had my very first A1c to come back under 7, and I wrote about how diabetes is a silent disease and we don’t always look how we feel inside.

Oct ‘09 – I celebrated my 2 year anniversary with my understanding husband, and I decided that Mii had to get fit!

Nov ‘09 – I made my first vlog, celebrated my 21st D-iversary, participated in the WDD BigBlueTest and made a vlog, and compared the advancements in diabetes management to Band-Aids with better glue.

Dec ‘09 – Drumroll for the 6.1 A1c followed by the doctors “Ok” to start trying for a baby, made a goofy 12 days of Diabetic Christmas, and I almost stole candy in Walmart.

Jan ‘10 – Defying Gravity – in relation to diabetes, Tried a pod on my back, wrote about my frustration with high bgs, and started the local gym.

Feb ‘10 – I explained the blog flower, I moved from WordPress to Squarespace, I learned a valuable lesson about blind bolusing, and had a very scary low at the gym.

March ‘10 – I started Symlin, I ordered my Myabetic case – only the best case in the world!!, wrote a poem to the DOC, had my first ever 6.0 A1c, participated in my very first JDRF walk, and figured up my cost per day for diabetes supplies.

April ‘10 – I laughed and acted like a kid with a new CD case, talked about my photography hobby, and dreamed of an all-in-one diabetic pump that would dispense insulin, symlin, and glucagon – whichever was needed (glucagon idea was added by Lorraine).

It amazes me how in only one year, I have gone from randomly posting blogs here and there to writing one almost every week now. It surprises me how much blogging has become a part of my life. And just when I think I have thought of everything I could write about, something comes up and I have something new to blog about.

Of course, I couldn’t have done it without the DOC’s support. **HUGS** to all of you!! You guys are the greatest!!!!!!

“I know this was probably already discussed b4, but I’d LOVE for a company to make a double-reservoir pump. One for insulin, other for Symlin.”

I tweeted this today and really got to thinking. I know people on Symlin now have the option of vial-Symlin and Pen Symlin. Either way you take a shot. Unless, you are willing to strap another pump to your side and double-pump. (Okay, coming from a woman, that can be taken to a WHOLE other direction!). My twitter buddy, Scott, has done this before and had some success with it. My doctor even told me of a drug rep that has done this as well.

Insulin pump manufacturers have been doing lots of research and development lately and have come out or are soon to be coming out with lots of great new pumps or tweaks to old ones. Lots of them making accommodations for children and insulin-sensitive adults that need fine-tuned basals of as low as 0.025u! That’s wonderful since my first pump only used increments small as 0.5u. I, for one, am excited and am patiently as possible waiting for the smaller pod that Omnipod is supposed to be coming out with this year, and awaiting the news of the (hopeful) FDA approval of the Omnipod and Dexcom receivers into one. THAT will be awesome!

Now, I am a dedicated Omnipod user. To me, it is the greatest thing since sliced bread. BUT! If a company were to come out with a double-pump for insulin and symlin users, I would be all on that! My vision is that it would look something like this…

Yes, I know that’s a Medtronic Minimed Paradigm pump, but I used Photoshop to modify it a little bit. Yes, I know the second reservoir is where the battery is, but if it could be moved to the middle, and maybe color the buttons a different color (top ones blue, bottom red) so you wouldn’t bolus the wrong medicine, that would be cool! But, like I said, this is my vision, so it’s not completely accurate. There would be a lot of research that would have to go into it to make it a safe, functional device. What would be the ultimate thing to me would be if they could still integrate the CGMS part too. I wouldn’t think twice about going back to being “tubed”! (gasp!)

Now, if Dexcom could remotely control two pods and a Dexcom CGM, *queue angel choir* “aaaaaahhhhhhh!”.   THAT, my friends would be A-TOTAALYY-FREEAKIN-WESOME!!!

To my knowledge, none of this is in any pump manufacturer’s plans to be built, BUT, as I said. A girl can dream, right?

Cars buzzing by. People chatting among friends. Kids playing ball. Life is being lived, day in and day out. Me? At times, I feel like I’m this person who is occupying a body and using its eyes as windows to look through. It’s not all the time, but it’s happening more often lately. I’m not who I usually am. Something is changing inside of me and I don’t like it.

Yesterday at lunch, I went to this new little restaurant in my area. The woman that runs it cooks wonderful food (or, so I had been told), so I thought I’d give it a try. The place is very small. She has about 8 tables set up if you’d like to dine in and you can also order your stuff to go as well. I went there, and suddenly I felt nervous. Like all eyes were on me…. not that there were that many to look. Her staff was very nice and she herself even took my order. But I clammed up. I was stumbling all over my words as if I were the new guy at a Fortune 500 company meeting the CEO for the first time. The 5 minutes that it took to put my sandwich together seemed like an eternity. I got my food and all but bolted out of the door. “What’s going on with you? Pull yourself together!” I thought to myself. When I got back to my office, I checked my bg. I was finally within range of a high that I had that morning. The dex proved it with the slope downward on the 3hr graph.

This morning, everything got to me. The rat race of the day that we all follow that consists of getting up, driving to work …. everything that I do every single day. There was one exception today, and that was my dentist appointment. While on the 45 minute ride there, I cranked up the radio. A song that I used to sing all the time to came on and I tried to sing to it. My voice didn’t sound the same. Have I been so quiet and shut off lately that I can’t even sing like I used to? The dentist appointment itself went fine… after the talk I had to give myself to calm my nerves down enough to even GO there. I hate dentists office, but this visit nearly made me hyperventilate just to think of being there. During the procedure, I realized that I had been clasping my hands together so tight that my left hand was numb. After everything was over and the dentist gave me the good news that all was good, I couldn’t leave fast enough. When I got back to work, I checked my bg and I had a 70. I had come down from my 6am high of 160.

What’s worse is everything going on around me seemed to hit me at once. Family issues, home issues, work issues, self-confidence issues. All of it. I did a stupid thing and tweeted one simple line:

“If I dropped off of the side of the earth, would anyone notice?”

I’m not sure if I meant it or what. I think I had just finally gotten so low emotionally and bg-wise that my brain wasn’t thinking right. Of course, that was followed by quick responses filled with “I would”’s and “Yes”’s. I felt like I had been “hugged” by 9 different people all at once. I apologize for saying what I did and realize that it wasn’t smart of me to say, let alone think. I know there are plenty of people who would notice and miss me, just as I would notice and miss each and every one of them if something were to happen to them.

As I said, something is changing with me and I don’t know what it is. I’m tired all the time and am nervous beyond what any normal person should be at random times, which seems to be increased when my blood sugar level is trending downward. Whatever it is, I want it to work it’s way out of my system. I don’t need this craziness now. I have too much going on and too many good things going for me to have a mental breakdown. Maybe I just need someone to give me a proverbial slap upside the head and tell me to snap out of it. I don’t know. I’m just hoping and praying this will be over soon.

Someone once told me everyone has to have a hobby… something to do to escape the stresses of day to day life. It should be something that you totally relax in doing, even if there is physical activity involved. Something that causes you to re-center yourself mentally and physically and allows you to be creative. And who cares if you don’t do it exactly right by someone else’s standards, it’s whatever the outcome may be that you are happy and satisfied with that is right.

Since then, I searched for what would make me happy. Life takes so much out of us, and with the added stress of D management, we need something to help us “escape”, if you will. I used to think it was music. I tried my hand at a few songs – writing lyrics, composing sheet music, etc, but after a while, it wasn’t enjoyable to me. I love singing, but writing my own stuff just didn’t seem to jive with me fully for some reason. I’ve tried drawing, painting, sewing, even writing, and none of it seemed to relax me. They were always something I always seemed to end up having to make  time to do. So, after thinking really hard one day of what a great past-time would be – something that wouldn’t require me reminding myself, “Hey, remember that ________ project you started? Well??? Are ya gonna finish it??”. One thing kept coming to mind.

Pictures. I have always, since I was little, loved to have a camera in my hand. It didn’t matter that at the time all I had was a simple point-and-shoot camera with no control whatsoever over the picture other than the 35mm speed film I used. Even then I had no clue. All I knew was that when I saw something, I wanted to capture it. Of course, it never really worked out, except in a few cases. I still have a picture of a beach pier walkway that I took when I was a young teen that I had taken with black and white film. I don’t know why it stood out to me, but it did and I kept that picture. That picture is what made it all “click” in my brain. If I have always had this passion for pictures, why not build upon it?

So, that’s where my journey with photography began. I went out and bought a Nikon D60 camera and signed up for a short photography class through an online college. I finished my course last year, but really, it didn’t teach much. I learned so much more from going and getting a few books, especially  "Understanding Exposure" by Brian Peterson. Nothing about aperture and focal length and all of those manual settings made sense until I bought his book. Now, I love shooting in manual with my camera. Don’t get me wrong, point and shoot cameras are great, especially if you are just getting a quick snap of something. Even the D60’s and most DSLR’s have auto settings for that kind of thing, but being able to be in control and to use the camera to create art that you are satisfied with is amazing! So far, the picture to the right is my most favorite shot I have ever gotten. The background is perfectly blurred out and in the big version, you can see the detail in the butterfly, right down to the fuzzy hairs on his trunk and head.

The best thing about it (as with most digital cameras), you can instantly see the picture and find out if it needs a re-shot. I still find myself forgetting to reset something and the exposure will be off, but as I learned yesterday, sometimes, that can be a good thing. This picture was an overexposed one (duh, right?), but the cool thing about it is it looks like a watercolor picture to me. True, this is my vision of it and not everyone may agree, but the truth of the matter is that seeing them makes ME happy. It brings me joy to see that I can use a device as complicated as a DSLR can be to capture the nature God created for us to see in ways that look so real. Real enough to touch. It amazes me the emotion that pictures can convey to you if you let them.

Now, if I need a mental break from things, diabetes or otherwise , I grab my camera and go for a walk. Some days, you can go and never find anything really “exciting” to photograph. Then others, you can go and find tons of things and come back with lots of photos to sort through.

So, what are your hobbies? What to you do to “escape”? What do you do that makes you relax and seemingly forget all that’s going on around you?

This past weekend, Erik and I attended his college buddy’s wedding and had a blast. The wedding ceremony was very quick, was followed by a gorgeous reception at a local private club. I honestly felt a little weird and out of place because I am not used to fancy-schmancy parties hosted by rich people. You know, the ones that you refer to them only by “Mrs. Debutante”, not “Mrs. Frances” or “Mr. John”, and you stand up straight, look them in the eye, while minding your P’s and Q’s, dotting every I and crossing every T. The part that really saved me in that manner was the fact that I stayed surrounded by Erik and his friends, some real, down-to-earth people that you can’t help but love to be around. After leaving as late as we did, we were invited – or told, rather – to stay at his friends house for the night. We just so happened to bring extra clothes “just in case”, so that part wasn’t a problem for us.

The next morning, I woke up with a low. I was kind of expecting it because I’ve been working on my overnight basal to keep from bottoming out all night then going sky high around 7am. I went upstairs to the kitchen and quickly remembered they don’t keep orange juice because Erik’s friend is allergic to citrus. No apple juice to found, no juice at all. No “regular” drinks either. I see a protein bar and grab one. It was just enough to hold me over until breakfast. We ate at this little restaurant called “Le Peeps”. The food was awesome! Erik’s breakfast burrito was so huge, he could only eat half and had to get a carry out plate for the rest. I got a simple ham, sausage and cheese omelet with a side of fruit and whole wheat toast, and orange juice for my drink. It was good, but more than I could eat, so I didn’t get to finish my bread. The only problem was that I had already bolused for it. And, at the time, I didn’t think anything of not finishing it.

That is, until an hour later, when I did not have barely a slight peak in my dex line and was feeling woozy. Then, there it was. The dreaded “down” arrow. I was already at a nice 100-ish range, so that was NOT a good thing to see. Since we were back at the house again, I grabbed another protein bar and told Erik what was happening. We excused ourselves to make a trip to the grocery store down the street to get some juice, but by the time we got there, I was dropping very fast. My meter read 42mg/dl. We walked in the store and Erik asked me what would be best to treat the low with right now. I just stood there. I couldn’t think. I tried, but I wasn’t processing it. Erik asked me again, but I panicked. I could not make my brain work. All I could get out of my mouth that made any sense was “Get me something now”. I was freaking out, full force panic attack went into gear, and I started to cry right there in the front of the store. Erik quickly grabbed me a Mello-yellow out of the nearest drink case, opened it and handed it to me. We stayed standing there for a while, all eyes glaring at us… well, probably at me…. since I was drinking a soda that hadn’t been paid for yet, and I was visibly upset. A few minutes later, I was coherent again and we just grabbed a diet soda and a few other things and headed back to the house. We stayed a little while longer, but all I could think about was how I had messed up my breakfast bolus. And if I had passed out in the store, would Erik have been able to think clearly enough to get my glucagon kit from my purse and use it? How would the whole situation have looked to onlookers in the store? Did they think I’m crazy? Do they think I’m an irresponsible diabetic? Do they think “I just don’t take care of myself”?

I do take care of myself. Just some days are worse than others. I have to do what I can, and sometimes I mess up. Everyone does. It just seems that with diabetes, your life is so wrapped up in exact figures and exact this and that, that if you mess up, it feels as if everyone knows it and is judging you. You know you can fix problems that come up, but the general public has the assumption that if you slip up, you just don’t care and won’t take care of yourself. I don’t wish Diabetes on anyone permanently, but for everyone who doesn’t understand and just assumes they do, I’d love to have a button that would make their pancreas not work for just one week. That way, they could maybe get a full dose of what we deal with and stop assuming things. In my mind, having diabetes is like being the laid-back country girl and the unknowing public is like the rich Mr’s and Mrs’ at the fancy private club wedding reception. You do your best to mind yourself and be like everyone one else, but the minute you “slip up”, all eyes are on you, with people whispering and shaking their heads in the background.

This experience has taught me in more than one way to always prepare for the worse and hope for the best. I know that if we had packed more stuff, especially snacks and juices “just in case”, it probably would have turned out to be a great weekend with no problems. But you live and learn, you fall and pick yourself back up. I’ll be better prepared next time, I’m sure of it. I’m not going to let this keep me from living a life as close to normal as possible.

April is here and Spring is in full bloom. Flowers and trees are budding everywhere, giving us a beautiful scene to look at as we drive to work. But, all this comes with a price. Yep, you know what I’m talking about. That ugly yellow haze that blankets the earth called pollen and causes allergy sufferers like myself and my husband to go completely crazy. Between the sneezes, stuffy-yet-runny noses, and itchy throats, we are one sexy couple, I tell ya! (/sarcasm) This girl, in the picture to the right, looks just like me for most of the hours that I am awake. Two things have really helped cut down the allergy attacks this year for me. Xyzal and double showers. The Xyzal (pronounced z-eye-z-all) helps if I take it every day. If I miss a day, you may as well hang it up for a couple of days until I get it back in my system again. The showers help by keeping the yellow blanket of dust off of me, ESPECIALLY before going to bed. That way it’s not in your pillow and causing a bunch of misery at night. I love the spring and the weather it brings, but not the allergies.

Spring has also worked out to be the time for me to buy a car. I hated to do it. Really. I did. Growing up after getting my license, I had 3 cars within 2 or 3 years. I was never satisfied. That was until I found my 2000 Dodge Stratus. It was a government car, so it wasn’t fully loaded (which I didn’t care about). I even found the Army Recruiter’s luggage tag in the back of it. Pretty cool, huh? It was a nice little 4 door car that was really good on gas mileage at the time (hey, 25mpg was great then!), only had 54,000 miles on it, and had power windows and locks. Everything else was standard on it. I got that car in 2003 and it served me well for the almost 7 years I had it. But, alas, it was getting old and worn out. The transmission was starting to skip and it was leaking fluid, and mpg was slacking down to 20mpg. Since it was no longer worth it to fix (according to my husband and my dad), I finally gave in to my husbands year-old request to get another car. We looked at brand new cars, but I just cannot afford one. (Not to mention that I had NEVER paid more the $5k for a car, so just the thought of paying $15-25k for one would make me sick to my stomach). After looking around, I found this cute little car. It’s a 2007 Chevy Malibu and it only had 58,500 miles on it. It’s slightly bigger than my Stratus and gets 30mpg. After trading in my car towards it and haggling prices, I got it for a total of $8k. I thought I did pretty good since I’m basically where I was 7 years ago. Basic car, basic features, basic price. I’m not a fancy girl, and I don’t need the top of the line stuff, so this little beauty was just right. I signed the paperwork yesterday and everything is official. She’s mine. Gotta figure out a name for her though. My Stratus was silver, so I named her the “Silver Bullet”. (It was kinda shaped like a bullet, so that’s why I named it that. I know, it wasn’t original at ALL!). Plus, I’ll be much happier when I can get all of my stuff on it. I had my own “SK” initials sticker made and put on the back glass of my Stratus along with the TuDiabetes sticker. I also have a front license plate to transfer over as well. Hopefully it will feel more like it’s mine and not the dealers car when I get finished with it.

Diabetes wise, I’m doing well. Symlin is still a challenge, but it is getting much better. BGs are going haywire from the allergies and stuff though, so I’m hoping that will subside soon. But, the best part is, since being on the Symlin, I rarely hit over 200 now. If I do, I’ve miscalculated carbs.

I have lost 4.5 pounds, so I’m on my way to having to adjust basal rates again. Yipee!! LOL. The gym is kicking my butt, so I’m down to a 75% reduction in basal rate 30 minutes before and 2 hours after the workout. My goal is to lose 20 more pounds and tone up. I don’t have a finishing timeline, but I’d like to lose at least 10 of it before the family beach trip in July.

New2Me ride + better body – (hopefully) allergies = BEACH, HERE I COOOOOMMMMEEEEE!!! WOOOOO!

Yes, I can be a kid sometimes. Yes, the simplest things amuse me sometimes, so please excuse me for being a silly kid right now.

Despite what I have said before, I am the perfect diabetic.

I always:

1. wash my hands before testing.

2. take glucose tabs instead of sugary foods when low.

3. change my lancet with EVERY test.

4. test my keytones with every single high.

5. avoid “bad” foods. AKA, I never eat things with a sugar content of over 12g per serving.

6. change my site in the morning, not night time.

7. throw my “diabetic” garbage in a sharps container, including strips.

8. use alcohol wipes on my fingers if I can’t wash them.

9. wipe my finger off on a napkin after testing. No licking for me!

10. perfectly time my symlin and insulin dosages, so no meal spikes.

11. manage to have a spot-on 5.5% A1c.

12. have an answer for any question the doctor has for me.

13. promptly treat a low or high bg.

14. handle troublesome bg episodes calmly.

15. have plenty of supplies on hand.

*~’`^`’~*-,._.,-*~’`^`’~*-,._.,-*~’`^`’~*

HA! Yeah, right! I only WISH. I’m not perfect, and I have yet to meet a diabetic that is. I don’t want to try to be perfect either, I just want to be a diabetic that does the best she can at taking care of herself. If I can’t do everything perfectly, I don’t sweat it. Does that mean I never have to do any of those things? No, it just means that if I forget one time, it’s okay. Try to do better next time.