Miss You

I am missing the DOC terribly this week…. I missed you guys last week too…

I’m still hanging around though.. I lurk through Facebook and twitter at times, just not as much as before.

I’m trying so hard to keep up and stay in the swing of life now that I’ve added school into the mix. The problem right now is that every free second I have, my nose is in a book. If you were to see me, I’d probably be curled up in a chair somewhere – my office, my truck, my house – with my nose more than likely in my literature book. I don’t know why, but literature has always been my worst subject. Give me math, give me science, give me ANYTHING but literature. The process of close reading and analyzing it just doesn’t come easy to me. I barely read for enjoyment (except your blogs!), let alone for studying. The only relief I have is my Sociology class is rather interesting, and I’m loving it.

I have 6 more weeks of class and then a break. Well, sort of… then I have to study for my insurance license renewal, which is all due by the end of August, but I will be back in class by then – so everything with that has to be done while on that 2 week break.

I know it’s going to be hard as crap over the next year to keep up with everything, but I can’t stop now. I have a goal, and I’m going to do my best to achieve it. I just hate that it’s taking so much time away.

Then, with Kip being super mobile now – holy crap. That kid went from barely going anywhere unless it was backwards, to full-fledged-crossing-the-living-room-in-5-seconds mode. Of course, this opens so many doors for Peek-A-Boo games and “Find the toy” strategies. It also means that staying in a play-yard doesn’t make him happy. He will play in one for a few minutes, but no where near the time he used to stay in it. Things like gardening, cleaning house, and getting me ready to go anywhere all have to be done in 15-20 minute spurts of time.

Diabetes is being a butt, though I imagine its from stress among a few other things. I practically had a melt-down with my endo yesterday over the phone. I have one month….ONE month… to get better control before I go for the A1c again. My at-home ones showed an 8.3 and an 8.8… not much different from the 9.0 I had in his office back in March. I just want to get back into the7.0-7.5 range. I know that’s still considered high, but it’s a heckuvalot better than 9 to me. We changed a few basal rates, and discussed better management for testing (yeah, I’ve been sorta slacking on that), and a few other things. Hopefully this will help some. I think the biggest deal is going from such intense followup visits (1 per month during pregnancy) to 1 every 3 months is getting to me as well. I knew then that I had to stay on top of things because not only was I growing this awesome baby inside, but I was constantly being checked on, and I wanted to do my best. I didn’t slack off because I wanted that “A” – that “You’re doing a great job” – I had constant accountability. It was that constant accountability to my growing baby and him that kept me staying in-check, and the feedback helped a ton. I have to find a new way of managing myself that gives me the accountability and feedback that I need to keep me going like before… it’s just finding the what and how of that equation.

All that being said… (and I’ll say it again and again and again)…..

I miss you guys.

 

 

Ten Months

My sweet BabyK,

You turned 10 months old Saturday. I’m a few days late in writing, but mommy is also trying to put herself through school before you become of school age, and one of her classes is kicking her butt, and taking every spare second when she is away from you or while you’re napping, so forgive me for being late.

You are growing from a baby, into a toddler… and fast. Though you’ll always be my baby, you’re quickly growing out of your alias of “BabyK”. So, your dad and I have decided to change your alias to “Kip”. (Not to mention whenever we decide to bring your little brother or sister into the picture, we wouldn’t want you to be BabyK1 and them, BabyK2… because then that would lead to a WHOOOLE lot of confusion with the famous K2 of the d-blogger world.)

You’re a mover and a shaker, crawling everywhere you want to go. I was beginning to worry because you hadn’t been making any attempts to do it, but it seemed that just over night, you decided that you wanted to go… and you went. You cover our living room in a split second it seems to get to your intended destination.

You have a new activity before bed called “fighting sleep”. I knew the day was coming, but oh how it seems to have come so quickly. You flip-flop around like a fish, crying out in irritation, afraid you’ll miss something I assume. But we learned quickly that trying to let you tire out in your crib is not going to work, because you stand on your knees and yell from the side… and sometimes, you slap the wall to get us to come get you. So, we come get you after the dozenth time of tucking you back in and we rock. I know it’s not good for you (or so the articles say), but I want to hold you. You’re little now, and there will come a time when you can’t be rocked any longer, so I want to hold on to these times and cherish them.

We also found out you’re not allergic to eggs. Yey! Also, you’re safe to have soy as well. But, you are still ever so allergic to milk and it’s biproducts, so those are still on the no-no list. I think maybe we tested you too quickly on the eggs and soy after a reaction to milk, and you may not have been allergic all along. One thing is for certain… we now know to give you watered down G2 once a day and it helps your rash, and also helps you recover from a reaction faster. I don’t know what it is about it, but you have stayed clear (with the exception to the yogurt test we did) ever since… not even the “paci rash” – as the doctor calls it – has come back. I’m amazed. And thankful.

You also love to play in the water. A far cry from the days of endless screaming when your skin would hit water before. You splash and kick, and even give me a fit when I take you out of the water. Oh, and the big pool at Aunt Lin’s? Love.IT! I’m so glad you’re turning into a water baby. We’re going to have so much fun on our beach trip this year.

I love you, baby. Every last bit of you. My heart grows with you. Just when I don’t think I could ever love you more, and like my heart would burst if it tried, it grows even bigger.

I love you (I’ll never stop saying it either….)

To the moon and back.

Letter to my…

Around the blogosphere, we write letters sometimes.

Letter to my 18 year old self.

Letter to my 16 year old self.

In writing those letters to myself, all that time, I never thought I’d be writing one to someone else. I could graciously go back in time and write things to myself because I knew deep inside, there was never a way that I would be faced with it. I’d never physically be able to back in time and physically touch my face, or hold my hand, or tell myself that it would be okay. And while it was emotionally freeing, I knew it would never be real.

Yesterday, it became real.

I got a call yesterday at work from my cousin who is pretty much my older brother. He said he needed some advice. Then he told me…

“She has diabetes.”

After talking with them at my house last night, and doing my best to give positive encouragement while answering any questions they may have, I could not get over it. I was looking at her as me. Brown hair, blue eyes…. it was like looking in a weird mirror. Seeing my past right in front of my eyes.

This morning, I wrote one of the most difficult letters of all.

It wasn’t to myself.

It was to my 12 year old cousin.

I bought her a journal and wrote her a letter on the very first page. Something she could keep with her, and add her stories to. Letting her know that she isn’t alone, and that I’ll always be here for her. It wasn’t easy, but I knew deep down that I would have loved to have had someone I could reach out to at that age that not just knew… but KNEW what I was going through.

I just pray that I can be that person for her.

FridayFind 6 – Site Selector App

(Sorry for not posting any this week. I had a problem with my site and some hackers and stuff, so I was working hard with my hosting company to get it back to working order. Now, on to my post…..)

Welcome to this week’s Friday Find! Several weeks ago, I was wanting to have an app that would track my sites – CGM and Infusion. Well, actually, this has been a dream for a few years now, but I actually started proactively looking for a way to make it happen. Well, unbeknownst to me, a good friend of mine – Brian Bosh (@Bosh) also had the same idea, but actually had the means and know-how to do it. He had developed an app called Site Selector. It was still in infancy stage, but I was so thrilled to see it and use it! I reached out to Brian with some suggestions of some improvements, and he worked hard on incorporating them. And now, I want to share a bit about it with you.

1. The app is FREE! Yup, FREE! Always a great point to make, right?

2. You can track both CGM and Infusion sites by long-tapping on the “body”, which will then place the site, or short-tap to zoom in on the area, and you can long-tap to mark the spot. A menu will then come up to ask if it’s a pump or CGM site, and then it places a dot for the site. Purple for pump, orange for CGM. It’s then recorded in the app and kept track of.

3. When you initially set up the app, it suggests healing rate times for sites, but as we all know, YDMV (You Diabetes May Vary), and some heal slower than others. You can change this to how fast or slow you think you heal. In doing this, it makes the app know how fast to “fade” the dots where your sites are to represent where they are in the healing process.

Pump and Insulin Settings

CGM and BG settings

Additional settings

4. It not only logs your sites, but you can also log your blood sugars in the Logbook section which can then be exported, but only if connected to your computer. But Brian gives excellent instructions on how to do this, and it works quite well.

5. With the reminders set, it alerts you as to when your current site has expired and needs to be changed:

Change Alert

As with anything diabetes-care related, you have to do what works for you. This app works for me because it can be as simple (only track CGM and infusion sites) or as complicated (those plus BG’s) as I need it to be. I absolutely love that Brian make it because I am a visual person, and being able to see where a site might be a no-no due to healing is a great help.

So, what are you waiting for? If you have the iPad or iPhone, go download it and give it a try! And, if you can, rate it for Brian so he knows how he’s doing. Or, if you have any suggestions, contact him at siteselector (at) alternateinterior (dot) com.

 

Starting the mySentry Trial

This week, the team over at Medtronic shipped out the mySentry Remote Glucose Monitor out to me for the 90-day trial that was offered back when I attended the Medtronic Diabetes Advocates Forum. I had a fun day of having to almost literally chase down the UPS driver. One tip: always ask if your packages are going to be sent with signature required. I forgot to ask and didn’t assume – which I should have – and it was attempted to be delivered while I was at work. After many phone calls with UPS to find out if I could possibly meet him somewhere to get it for a couple of hours, we finally met up and I signed and received the package. I didn’t think to ask if it could be delivered to my work address when all of the paperwork was being processed. BUT, in the end, I have it now and after having it set up for the last 2 nights, I want to give my first-impression thoughts.

mySentry Trial 1

(I’m going to use bullet points for now just because (1) I like them and (2) it helps get quick thoughts out in an organized manner.)

  1. This thing is super super easy to use. Quite literally, all you have to do is simply take it out of the box, plug it up, sync the insulin pump and outpost to it following the on-screen instructions and you’re good to go. But, do read the instruction manual – you’ll be tempted not to because it’s so super simple to set up, but just do it.
  2. Since it is a monitor, and not the CGM itself, it basically relays everything that the pump has. So, you can be away from it all day long (or your child can be away… whoever the pump user is), and when you come home and come into range of either the monitor or the outpost, after a few minutes, everything is on the screen. So, just say, your kid comes home and has a friend come over. They are playing some sort of game in the room or whatnot. Or you just don’t want to have to ask them for the pump to see how their day was. You can just go look at the monitor and see everything. I know that Erik can just go into the room and take a glance at it and see how my day went. Who knows, maybe I’m ill and instead of asking me how my bg is and risk possibly getting snapped at (yeah, I do that when I’m high – I’m quite snippy – and then I feel bad for it when I’m back “in range” and not a monster anymore), he can just go and glance at it and know that I’m not mad at him, I’m just not feeling well. Of course, that also just comes down to communication issues – which I’m working on… but back to the first look review….
  3. mySentry Trial 2ALL INFORMATION AT A GLANCE! Oh how I wish this screen could be on my pump. I wouldn’t even mind if the pump was just slightly bigger if it needed to be just to accommodate a screen that would give me this info when I look at it. To know just by looking how MANY units of insulin I have left, how old my sensor is, how many hours left til next calibration, and battery life. This exact screen shown above… that’s what I want. With maybe two modifications…
  4. I wish it had two more feature for pump statuses : Temp basal time and Insulin-On-Board remaining. It does not have that. At a glance, before I go to bed, I want to know where my bg is, any insulin I may have left acting, if I have a temp basal set and if so, how much time left. All of this has to go into account before I know I can go to bed safely. I’m sure any parent would like to know at a glance, without waking the child up, if there is a need for a low treatment or if they are safe to coast. Let’s just say – Okay, Johnny had supper at 6pm, which was high-fat or carby (pasta or pizza?), so he had a combo bolus of 40/60 over 3 hours. He’s also been active, so he has a temp basal set at -75%. So, at 9pm when he goes to bed, he still has insulin from the extended part of his bolus working for the next 2 hours and his temp basal is still has 3.5 hours left. (yes, I know this is probably not a common occurrence, but just stick with me a minute) He goes to bed, with a relatively steady line and it doesn’t seem like there will be an issue. But you know that this is not a normal night with all of the pizza and activity. It would be nice to see how much time is remaining  to try and make a decision about whether or not to adjust that temp basal, or even cancel it, before YOU go to bed, which may be at 11pm. (And that probably didn’t make much sense at all, but I hope it sorta explained my thinking.)
  5. The monitor is marketed to parents of the children who use the pump, but I think it is a great tool for anyone – parent, single person living alone, couple, or maybe a someone taking care of an elderly person on the pump.  Just last night, it woke me up to alert a low from my pump CGM that I didn’t hear my pump alarm. So I was able to get up and treat it. Erik likes it because if I don’t wake up from it or if I’m acting funny in my sleep, he can look at the monitor and see that either (a) I’m low or (b) I’m trending low on the CGM and that I need to get up and check my bg to see if I need a snack before I drop low.
  6. Since I am the pump user and the monitor stays beside the bed, I don’t have to have use the outpost if I don’t want to. But, because I would like it to try to keep up with my pump where I mostly am in the house just so Erik can hear the alarm and know how I am without asking, I keep it plugged into the socket in my living room. mySentry Trial 3 On the first night, I felt like I was dropping a bit and got up from the couch and got a snack… something that used to be discreetly done, mind you. Then, my pump alarmed – it was against the pillow and I didn’t dismiss it right away, and a couple of seconds later, the monitor alarmed. Erik jumped and asked “WHAT WAS THAT???” I laughed and told him it was the mySentry and that I was dropping. Since then, when it alarms, he immediately asks me if I’m ok and if I need him to do anything.
  7. In a way, I feel as if it’s made us more of a team where as before I tried to do everything on my own and he didn’t know because I didn’t tell him – it’s not his disease, and I felt like it was my responsibility - the mySentry is sort-of like my “tattletale”. Heheee.

I am excited to be trying the mySentry device. To get a first-hand look at how it works and how it can help improve life for those of us who either live with diabetes or care for someone who does. To help us feel more secure. I will give another update after a couple of weeks and then maybe about a month later. Then I might try to see about insurance coverage and let you know how that process goes.

 

Disclosure: As disclosed in my Medtronic DAF Recap post, I have been provided with the mySentry Remote Glucose Monitor as well as sensors and test strips  to be used as a part of the 90-day trial free of charge provided that I write and give my full, honest review of the product. The monitor system does have to be returned after the 90-day trial. Medtronic does not have editorial control over the content I post in regards to the system here on Sugabetic.me .

Going Back

I know I haven’t posted a lot lately, but I have a good reason. I have been putting my utmost concentration on finding a school that I could go back to completely on-line so that I could get my degree.

Truth is, I attended a local technical college after I graduated. I stared off going into nursing. I had big plans. I wanted to become a nurse, then a CDE, then maybe even an endo. But I got to my first anatomy class and I failed it. So, instead of trying again and this time getting more help with it, I just gave up. I never knew of anything else I ever wanted to do. The question of “who do you want to be” was always asked of me, and nursing was the only response I ever gave. So, I thought maybe if I took the summer off and tried to “find myself” a little more and find out what I was good at and what could be expanded upon in higher education to make a decent living, then I’d go back in the fall and change my course goal.

But fall came and went, and I had to get a job because I was then off of my mom’s insurance, and I couldn’t get back on. So, I stayed in little jobs until I got where I am now… an insurance agent. Not where my dreams would have taken me, but I like what I do just because I still try to see it as helping people. Of course, it’s not so grand when people come in chopping my head off because their rates increased while – lo and behold – they got some sort of speeding ticket or at-fault accident on their record. But as you all know, I’m just in it to take everyone’s money. (/sarcasm)

Since knowing Erik, he and his family have been trying their darnedest to get me to go back to school. I have always resisted because I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. Not to mention, how on earth was I going to do that and have a job? I wasn’t going to go at night because that’s just creepy (oh so many horror stories come to mind instantly!) But he has kept pushing and kept pushing.

Also, for as long as Cherise has been over DSMA, I have been helping her with designs… logos, web page, whatever she needs. In doing that, I have found that I absolutely love making graphics on the computer. Whether it’s her or myself, I could sit (if allowed) for hours just making stuff.

Not to mention, I’m tired of , when being asked “where did you go to college?” and “what’s your degree in?” and “when did you graduate?”, I have to answer “(School name), nursing, – but I didn’t finish.)

So, I have decided to bite the bullet. I have re-enrolled at tech and am starting at the end of the month. I’ll be going back part-time (which I know will take twice as long, but, hey, I coulda graduated 6 years ago if I had stuck to it). My major is now an Associates in Arts, and after I finish it, I want to take a few courses specifically for Adobe Creative Suite, then – who knows.  I just know I have to get something more under my belt than just a high-school diploma as far as education goes.

I don’t know how on earth I’m going to do this. Being a mom of a 9 month old, having a full-time job, wife AND everything else under the sun with D-management?? What am I thinking??? Prayers much appreciated, please.