Category Archives: BabyK Letters

He’s My Heart

Posted by

2

My kid is becoming a half kid / half toddler in that he’s not a “kid” like a 4-10 year old, but he’s not a baby/toddler in that he’s becoming so much more independent than ever… and we’re 2 months away from his 2nd birthday. He’ll be 2 going on 20.

His personality is starting to show through so much, and I’m starting to see a little boy instead of a baby. He loves his music and dances to the beat. He’s picky about what he wants to eat and lets you know it too. He’s full-on melt-down mode when he doesn’t get his way. He can tell us “Poo-poo” before he has actually done anything, yet is scared to death of his kingly toddler “throne” when we place him there to try to do his business there instead of in his diaper.

He knows how to adamantly shout the word “NO” and shake his head to get his point across that he doesn’t want to do something or get something or eat something. He also knows the word “GO” very well and uses it to it’s full capacity when he wants to go outside. We have all sorts of words and even some phrases (“here you go” is becoming a common one lately) being added into his vocabulary now, but most of them are condensed down to a one syllable – sometimes two syllable – word… with the exception of his baby cousin’s name, which has 3, and is the first and only word of that length he’s been able to say… and it still amazes me. I mean, we can’t get out the full word for “cup”, but we can get out a 7-letter, 3 syllable word. I’m learning quickly, that not everything makes sense in the world of toddlerhood and development.

IMG_4576

He loves to play in the floor with me… or, more recently, to kick me out of my recliner so he can play in it. We play and roll and tickle and laugh. But it’s in that moment when he pauses and takes his two hands so soft and sweet and places them on both sides of my face and looks in my eyes that all the world stops and my heart wants to burst with the amount of joy and love I have for him. Of course, then he squishes my cheeks and lips together into mush and continues to giggle, and that moment has passed. But I remember it and hold it close.

He’s growing so fast. I’m afraid to blink because if I do, he really will be turning 20 and he’ll be off in college (hopefully) being his own person. So, while he lets me, I’ll continue to squeeze him tight and kiss him a bazillion times and be the tickle monster so I can soak up his laughter.

He’s my heart, and I love him so very very much.

TOT, The Second Year

Posted by

3

Trick or Treating wasn’t a big thing when I was a kid. We lived in a VERY very rural area, and plus it was sort of “what’s the big deal, she can’t eat the candy anyways” kind of thing. (You know, back in the dark ages when kidlets with diabetes couldn’t have candy?)

Anyways, so now that we have Kip, I get to trick or treat along with him.Yesterday, we went to my hubby’s work where they do office trick-or-treating, and people who want kids to stop by can put out a bowl full of candy or whatever for them. It’s safer than going to tons of houses in the dark.

At first, he had the look of “Ummm, mom, dad…. why are you handing me this bowl? What do I do with that?” We showed him what to do, and from then on, he knew to grab a piece of candy and throw it in the bag. Probably 90% of what we got, he couldn’t eat anyway because of his milk allergy, but he got some suckers, so those are all his.

All in all, we had a great time. We trick-or-treated to some family and then came home to try to get him to sleep, but that didn’t happen for a while. WE fell asleep before he did, which was around 11pm. Needless to say, I’m tired, I have a headache, and I feel like crap… but it was so worth it for him!

Hi-ho! Kermit de Frog here!

15

Posted by

0

Baby, today, you’re 15 months old! Wow! I know I haven’t written a letter since your birthday, but I thought maybe I could just stick to the milestones now.

You’re trying to feed yourself. What gives, mom? I’ve BEEN doing that! Yes, but you haven’t been using utensils. As a matter of fact, you utterly refused to use them. Now? You’re spearing those chicken pieces like they’re nothing. We’re still working on a spoon with your oatmeal though. While you’re incredibly cute when you’re incredibly messy… cleaning up the entire dining room is sorta getting old. Your dad has been such a good sport in doing it while I give you your bath, but we really need to work on that. You’ll get it though, in your own time… just like everything else.

Like mobility. You waited months longer than most babies to crawl. We worried about it then, and now? You’re a speed-demon around the house. Oh and chasing you is SOOO much fun! You giggle and laugh while run-crawling and periodically stop to look behind to make sure I’m still coming after you. Little times like that fill my heart with so much love and joy, I think it could burst. But now, you’re getting adventurous… or we’re trying to push you to be. You’ve been content to crawl around, even stand up and walk along as long as you have something to hold on to. But walking independantly? Well, that’s been a no-go for a few months now…. until this past week:

 

This is the third time you’ve taken steps. And right after this, your dad came home, and you took THREE whole steps without wobbling or anything! You’re doing such a great job!

Other things are that you’re saying “mama” and “dada” more clearly, as well as trying to say a few other things. But don’t worry – you can certainly get your point across when needed.

You’re continuing to grow by leaps and bounds. And I am SO looking forward to what it’s going to be like to decorate the house for Christmas this year! I’m sure I’ll have redecorated the house a bazillion times before Santa arrives. Until then, we’ll just keep watching you grow and enjoy every second of it.

I love you, sugarbear. <3

Love, Mommy

Happy

Posted by

0

There’s not much I want or have to say today as I’m making a lot of decisions and choices about my diabetes care and what devices I’m going to use to best control it in the upcoming years in relation to what I can afford (deeep breath), so… without bogging you down with the worries of my mind, I’ll leave you with 2 cute pictures for this Friday:

Pulling the pumpkin’s “hair”

The Big ONE

Posted by

3

ONE.

The big one.

ONE year old.

That’s twelve months…. 52 weeks…. 365 days….. 8760 hours….

My sweet, adorable, loveable munchkin, you are ONE year old.

This past month, I have been remembering our steps up until this day exactly one year ago. From the agonizing swelling that made my feet look like marshmallows to all the way to the Friday before you were born when I was called in to the hospital for an emergency visit because my platelet count had dropped so dangerously low. All of those nights of not being able to sleep comfortably anywhere in the entire house come flooding back, along with the pain and fear of each contraction. The rush of the day before when we had the final visit to the OB’s office where they said they would admit me THAT night, and we had only three hours to get our stuff in order and be back at the hospital. The nerves that surrounded your dad and I to know that when we would return, we would have you in tow, separately… outside of me…

And, boy, have our worlds changed. You have grabbed us both by the heart strings and held on tight. Every move you make, every sound you utter, every smile that crosses your face grows our hearts to sizes we never knew possible. Every whine, whimper, cry, and pain you have felt has broken our growing hearts as well, but I know that it’s all a part of loving you and taking care of you and growing with you.

As for this month, you’re becoming more adventurous. You haven’t walked on your own, but you are a champ at pulling up and holding on tight to whatever you can walk along with for stability. We are finding a bazillion things every day it seems that we have to say “No! Not that! Don’t eat that! Don’t pull that!” And you get SO mad! Holy cow! I know you just want to play and have fun, but we just want to do what’s best and protect you. You hear “no” a lot now too since you’re learning that mommy has something attached to her with a cord. You want to play with the box and buttons, and pull on the cord, to which I have to pry it out of your hand and tell you “no”. You don’t understand what it is or why you can’t have it right now, so you get upset. I promise, honey, I’ll explain everything as best as I can until you know what my pump is and why I have to have it.

You’re also being weaned off of baby food and formula to Almond milk and table food. It’s taken me hours and hours to research this choice, but I believe that it’s the best for you. I’ve read too much about soy and it’s possible effects on the endocrine system, plus it’s already ingrained and infiltrated into too many products as it is now, so I don’t feel safe with you also drinking it.

Some good news on the dairy front is you seem to be starting to outgrow your dairy allergy, or at least be able to tolerate dairy a bit better. This past week was your Papa-T’s birthday, and out of curiosity, we let you have some cake without the icing. You absolutely loved it. We cautiously watched and waited for the vomit fest that we were sure would ensue within a few minutes… but it didn’t. You did break out in a patch of hives on your belly and chest area, but they went away very quickly after using your medicine on the area. Your dad and I were so happy! Our worries about your birthday cake and future parties eased a bit knowing that though you still had a reaction, it wasn’t a terrible one like you’ve had before. We’ve tried it again since then, and same thing – a few hives, but no vomiting. You’ve had uncooked diary as well, but that was a definite no-go, so it seems if you do have any dairy, it must be baked. And that’s progress! Your cake for your party will still be diary-free just because we don’t want to take any chance at all on your big day.

My baby, you’ll never know what a blessing you have been to me and your dad. We’ve been through SO much already together. We never knew what a challenge this would be when we brought you home, but that doesn’t change one ounce of the way we feel about your or the amount of love we have for you. God has blessed us with the most precious thing we could ever imagine.

You are my heart… my breath… my world.

I love you SO very much.

Always know that.

-Mommy

 

Eleven Months

Posted by

2

Baby,

This is your last month to be a “baby”. I’m not ready to tell people when asked that you’ll be one year old next month. You’re my baby, and always will be, no matter how many months you get under your belt. I know you have to get older, and I will have to accept it no matter what, but your turning in to a toddler is coming on so fast!

BabyK – 11 Months

Lately, your dad and I have been thinking back to the day you were born and the weeks prior. This time last year, we were getting ready for our annual beach trip and making plans of how on earth Daddy would go enjoy his week while I had to stay home most of the week and work to save days for after I had you. And when we were at the beach, I was a waddling whale with you in my huge, swollen belly. Daddy had to put my socks and shoes on for me because I couldn’t reach them. And now? We’re getting ready for your first official beach trip ever. You’re going to see the big Atlantic ocean with the whole crew. And I have to say that I’m excited and scared to death all at once. It’s our first big vacation together. Away from home. I’m sure we’ll have a ton of fun though. Oh, which reminds me, we have to stock up on your Gerber puffs… we can’t have you eating the sand!

You’re exploring the house with your new-found confidence and crawling abilities, as well as your ability to pull yourself up into stand. You can get anywhere in no time. Doors to rooms that are not baby-safe are being closed off, and everything else is being baby-proofed on a constant basis as much as possible. I swear, our floor has never been vacuumed this much! Everything must be tasty to you because you find even the most minute thing and shove it into your mouth before we can take it out of your hand. I’m just dreading the day we find you trying to eat a bug or something and I go into total freak-out mode followed by meltdown phase.

Playing with Daddy’s Kindle during his photoshoot!

You’re learning now consonants and vowels now, and pretty soon, you’re going to be able to say “mama” or “dada” and “hey” very clearly. You try now, but you know it’s not quiiiiiite right, so you keep saying them. You’re doing great though. I can’t wait to hear you say “mama” for the first time, even though I know “dada” will be your first one since everything is “dadadadadadadadadada ppphhhlllttt” right now.

This week you’ll be going for your first visit to an ENT. I’m sorry buddy, but your ears just don’t want to clear up and stay well, so we’re seeing about having tubes put in to help your ears. It pains me to see you constantly on antibiotics and practically rubbing your ears off because they’re either itching or in pain. I want to make it better for you so bad, so I hope this helps you out.

And, as far as dairy, your body is learning that you can’t have it. How do we know this? Because, though you still break out somewhat, you spew every last thing you ate if you ever get even the tiniest bit in your stomach. People keep saying that it’s a good thing, but somehow, I don’t feel any better about your allergy. Time will only tell if you ever grow out of it. And if you do, please forgive me for the meltdown I’m promising you I’ll have. I’ll probably hug and kiss the daylights out of you (not that I don’t do that now, but you know….).

Baby, I love you sooo very much. This past year – from awaiting the last moments until your arrival until now – have been the best months of my entire life. I never knew having you would bring so much joy into my life. I love you to pieces and nothing will ever change that.

J-e-l-l-o!

♥ to the moon and back,

Mommy

Ten Months

Posted by

1

My sweet BabyK,

You turned 10 months old Saturday. I’m a few days late in writing, but mommy is also trying to put herself through school before you become of school age, and one of her classes is kicking her butt, and taking every spare second when she is away from you or while you’re napping, so forgive me for being late.

You are growing from a baby, into a toddler… and fast. Though you’ll always be my baby, you’re quickly growing out of your alias of “BabyK”. So, your dad and I have decided to change your alias to “Kip”. (Not to mention whenever we decide to bring your little brother or sister into the picture, we wouldn’t want you to be BabyK1 and them, BabyK2… because then that would lead to a WHOOOLE lot of confusion with the famous K2 of the d-blogger world.)

You’re a mover and a shaker, crawling everywhere you want to go. I was beginning to worry because you hadn’t been making any attempts to do it, but it seemed that just over night, you decided that you wanted to go… and you went. You cover our living room in a split second it seems to get to your intended destination.

You have a new activity before bed called “fighting sleep”. I knew the day was coming, but oh how it seems to have come so quickly. You flip-flop around like a fish, crying out in irritation, afraid you’ll miss something I assume. But we learned quickly that trying to let you tire out in your crib is not going to work, because you stand on your knees and yell from the side… and sometimes, you slap the wall to get us to come get you. So, we come get you after the dozenth time of tucking you back in and we rock. I know it’s not good for you (or so the articles say), but I want to hold you. You’re little now, and there will come a time when you can’t be rocked any longer, so I want to hold on to these times and cherish them.

We also found out you’re not allergic to eggs. Yey! Also, you’re safe to have soy as well. But, you are still ever so allergic to milk and it’s biproducts, so those are still on the no-no list. I think maybe we tested you too quickly on the eggs and soy after a reaction to milk, and you may not have been allergic all along. One thing is for certain… we now know to give you watered down G2 once a day and it helps your rash, and also helps you recover from a reaction faster. I don’t know what it is about it, but you have stayed clear (with the exception to the yogurt test we did) ever since… not even the “paci rash” – as the doctor calls it – has come back. I’m amazed. And thankful.

You also love to play in the water. A far cry from the days of endless screaming when your skin would hit water before. You splash and kick, and even give me a fit when I take you out of the water. Oh, and the big pool at Aunt Lin’s? Love.IT! I’m so glad you’re turning into a water baby. We’re going to have so much fun on our beach trip this year.

I love you, baby. Every last bit of you. My heart grows with you. Just when I don’t think I could ever love you more, and like my heart would burst if it tried, it grows even bigger.

I love you (I’ll never stop saying it either….)

To the moon and back.

9 Months

Posted by

1

Nine months have passed.

While I still see the baby that you were the day I had you, you’re slowly morphing into this toddler. A kid with his own little personality. One thing above all that I simply love and that melts my heart is how happy of a child you are. There’s hardly ever a time when you cry or get upset, unless of course it’s the normal stuff like hunger, diaper, or you have bumped your head on something while trying to be adventurous… oh, or if you have something you can’t and I have to take it from you. Things excite you so much. Your eyes open wide, you squeal in your own little weird way, and you clap your hands as if to say “YEEEEY, mom!”

And remember last month when you were starting to scoot backwards? Well, you still can’t quite go forwards, but I no longer have to put you into crawling position for you to get down and go where you want to go. You have mastered getting from sitting to crawling position, where then you look behind you and back up, where – when you get there – you spin yourself around on your belly to face whatever it is you were going to get. Oh, and I have also given up on expecting what position or area of your crib I’ll find you in in the mornings. I do belive you have covered every square inch of that thing either on your back, side, or belly, scooting and rolling about from one side to the other. Sometimes, even under your pillow.

And this month, I left you for the biggest, longest trip ever away from you… and away from everyone (except daddy… he went with me).  We’re talkin’ clear across the USA, but it was for a good cause, I promise. I hated so much to leave you, but I knew you were in excellent hands. Thank GOODNESS for FaceTime and video cameras. Even though we were thousands of miles apart, we were still able to talk and chat (babble?) so it helped a bit. Besides, I think your cousin kept you pretty well entertained, as I heard you had an itinerary of your whole stay well before we left you.

You are starting to be independent (geez, don’t know where you got THAT from! ;) ). You have learned what mommy’s iPhone camera is and what it does, and you either grab for it or you did like you did this morning and turn away from me. Now, gone are the days of posing you for cutesy pictures… I’ll be on my toes (or elbows), and exercising some mad “creative” picture skills I’m sure.

You’re also starting to notice the things that are attached to your mommy… like the box with the string (a.k.a – the pump). You see the string.. you want to eat the string… you pull the string, and momma says “no”. But you think that “no” word, or the other one – “stop”, are funny words, so you laugh and pull harder, causing mommy to squeal. You think it’s mommy being funny, so you laugh. It’s in that moment… that second… that I dislike diabetes all over again. Here, you think you’re playing with a simple toy, but you’re playing with something very serious, and I have to take it from you. You get upset, and I quickly distract you with another toy, but in my mind, I know that we’re soon going to be faced with the questions of “what’s that, mama?” or “I want to play with it, mama… why not?” and simple toy distraction won’t work, and the journey will begin of how to explain my attachments to you and why I need them. You will then enter into my world of diabetes as a T3, not just mommy’s baby. I know it’s going to happen soon.. I’ve just got to mentally get ready for it. I want to tell you and explain things just right so you understand. I don’t want it to scare you, which is what I’m more afraid of than anything.

 

You are my sunshine.

My 20-something ball of smiles and bolus-free sugar.

I love every bit of you and everything about you.

“I love you right up to the moon – and back.”