On my Twitter account, I follow a quote personâ€¦ or bot.. or whatever you call him/her/it named @allgreatquotes. Some of them, I donâ€™t care for too much. Others, I like, so I retweet them. This was this morningâ€™s quote (which I promptly retweetedâ€¦) :
"The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." – Vince Lombardi
I like this quote because you can apply it to so many aspects of your life. Granted, this came from the former Greenbay Packers coach, and Iâ€™m sure he was referring mainly to football, but just take it out of the football setting and think of how it is so trueâ€¦ school, marriage, work, etc.
Now, Iâ€™m not saying that if you work hard youâ€™re guaranteed for it to work out. Sometimes, things just simply donâ€™t work no matter how hard you try. But the key is trying, and trying your hardest.
But take that principle and apply it to diabetes.
Before becoming pregnant, the main thing I had to do was to get my levels under control. There were no ifâ€™s, andâ€™s or butâ€™s about it. There was no â€œokay, Iâ€™ll do my best this week and take a day off Saturday.â€ or â€œIâ€™ll work on it and if it doesnâ€™t seem too hard, Iâ€™ll keep it up.â€, or â€œIâ€™ll do what I can, but if it gets hard, itâ€™s just not going to be worth it.â€. No. These were not options in my book. I was going to work hard and keep it up because I knew what it was I was working towards.
While working hard on reaching this goal, I realized there was something else happening to meâ€¦ something inside. Yes, there were just as many good days as there were bad, but there was something about working hard to get there that changed my way of thinking. Taking it slow â€“ one hour at a time, one meal at a time, and one bbb (blood sugar, bolus, and basal) at a time, I slowly learned how to make this disease fit my life, not my life fit this disease. This is not to say that d-burnout didnâ€™t happen â€“ because it did. But the key is not to let it get you down for long. Look back over your past day â€“ week â€“ monthâ€™s hard work and concentrate on the victories you had, and let the victories become your inspiration and encouragement to keep it up that hard work. I found that the harder I worked at controlling my numbers, the harder it was to let them go and slip back into the â€œI just donâ€™t want to care any moreâ€ attitude.
So, to take what he said and change it just a bit, my diabetes mantra (dantra?) from now on will be this: The harder I work at managing my diabetes, the harder it will be to surrender to it. I will not punish myself for the bad times, but will rejoice in the victories and let them carry me through. Because surrendering is giving in. And giving in is not an option.