Putting Diabetes Back Into My Life

Wow. It’s been 3 months since I blogged?! What?!?! I guess that’s how things go when you’re stretched at every end it seems between a baby, toddler, and a house to keep up with. I’m busy, but happily so. I’ve not had much time to think about blogging as it seems my day is full from the moment I get up to the moment I go back to bed. Some days are overwhelming but most are just full and things like blogging have taken a backseat.

So, if you are wondering how we’re all doing, we are good. The hubs is staying busy, baby A is growing (she’ll be 5 months old soon!) and E is quickly growing into a little boy rather than a toddler. Baby A is rolling over and already has 2 teeth (!!!), and E is in pre-k learning and filling his mind with all sorts of awesome things (Hey moma! Apples grow on TAAAAAAAAAAAALLL trees!).

Me? eh. I’m “here” most days. I get so wrapped up in what is going on around me that I forget “me” and, most of all, my diabetes. I’ve let things go so much that I don’t even want to remotely know what my A1c is right now. I realize that I can’t expect to be perfect with it, but I also know that I can’t let my control go. My husband and kids depend on me to be healthy, and I feel like I’m having more and more “episodes” and am not healthy any longer. My body is tired and worn out from the rollercoaster caused by my own “backburner” attitude I’ve had. I’ve just not had the time I had before baby A to sit down and upload. I used to think I would like to have a system of remote uploading for convenience sake, but now, it would be an absolute dream to upload everything with no wires, on-the-go, from all devices, and get instant feedback. That’s one thing I do love about Glooko’s updates to their app because while I can’t plug my pump into it, I can have my Dexcom data plugged into it from HealthKit and I can upload my Contour Next USB into my android tablet and at least get feedback that way by seeing comparisons between weeks, months, etc. I looked at it earlier this week – my average BG is almost 170. Yep. And while that may not be a big deal to some, it’s a huge deal to me since I usually keep a tighter, lower range goal.

I feel like I’ve let myself go too much and it’s time to get back. And what got my head back into the game after having E was blogging. It was my way of working things out in my head because rarely do I go back through and edit – I simply blog out what’s in my head and get better clarity of where I stand and what I need to do.

And this is the one, constant truth. As selfish as it may seem to put myself first, it’s really not because if I don’t it’s also not putting my family first. My health directly impacts them and my ability to take care of them, and I can’t take care of them if I am too sick to do so. So, putting me and my care first, is actually putting them first… and then you realize that there are no placeholders, only the ones we’ve created, and we’re all just one unit.. your family unit.

The time has come for me to put diabetes care back into my life and to stop “winging” it.

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Second Time Around

So my last post was about my little announcement and why I’ve sort of been MIA around blogging and stuff. As of today, I’m 12 weeks along and according to some places, I’m in my last week of my first trimester, and to some, I have 1-2 weeks more to go. Either way, I’m almost out of the first part, which I hope means I’m almost out of the whole morning sickness and fall-asleep-at-the-drop-of-a-hat part in the beginning.

The biggest difference so far between this pregnancy and the last one 4 years ago was that I am MUCH sicker this time around. I had a lot of morning sickness with E, but this time, it’s on a whole new level. It’s all day, which really isn’t that much difference, but it’s just much more intense. Chicken is my number one “no-no” food – I cannot bear to even think about it without feeling super sick, with any carbonated or flavored drink holding a strong second (yes, this mama has been without diet coke for 2 months now! shocker!). And, for at least one meal a day, I’ve resorted to having a Glucerna meal shake since the thought of any food at all is just not working out. I finally had to call and get anti-nausea medication because this time around, I’m very sick when I am below 70. And, since while being low, food is sort of important to keep down, I weighed the pros and cons and decided it would probably be more beneficial to be able to treat the low than the risks of taking the medication.

Other than that, my insulin levels by this time with E were dropping significantly and by the 16th week, I was at half of my usual dosages. This time my insulin requirements have dropped, but just not as significantly. In fact, they went up by 20% in the beginning and are now seeming to go back to pre-pregnancy levels. So, for the most part, that has been completely different.

My A1c came back at 5.8, after just a month before having it at 6.7. That was a welcomed result by both my endo and my OB. My OB had some harsh words at our first visit about how I am not the “poster child for a healthy pregnancy” (don’t worry, although I wanted to punch him, I refrained), but I think my endo may have had a hand in setting him straight about how OCD I am over my control, and our next visit was much different and his attitude had made a 180 toward me. My endo is just as attentive as he was last time, and we’re working on a weekly basis on my levels over fax and I see him once a month in person, with my next appointment being tomorrow. I have a feeling though, that with my cold that I’ve had over the past 2 weeks that my A1c won’t be quite so nice, but at least I have an explanation for it. I’m not too worried about it, but at the same time I am simply because I don’t want my OB to make some smart remark again.

Other than that, so far, things are going great. No issues or scares, and our ultrasound went great a few weeks ago. The baby was moving like CRAZY in there. E said it was “cute” and he wanted to hold it. It’s been an adventure trying to explain to him that there’s a baby coming next year. It’s also hard for him to understand why I can’t hold him right now too, which breaks my heart. We’re hoping that maybe once I start showing a bit and if he gets to feel the baby move himself that it’ll start clicking with him.

So, that’s my update for now. More to come later, I’m sure. 🙂 I hope you all have a great and happy New Year!

His Sixth Sense?

I’ve always felt as if there’s some sort of invisible radar signal that I send out to my son that wakes him up when I’m low. Maybe he has a sixth sense about it, I don’t know. Or, maybe he just was scared crap-less by my Dexcom whaling after midnight last night that woke him up and not me, though it was three inches from my ear, and he was in another room. Either way, I was low, and I didn’t wake up.

Not until I heard his screaming from his room. Not his usual whimpery cry that’s basically his way of saying “maaamaaaaaaa, I don’t want to sleep by myselfffff….”, but a full-on tear fest by the time I got him. It wasn’t until I picked him up and took him to our room and I fell and dropped him (the bed was right there, so at least I dropped him in the bed) that I knew something REALLY wasn’t right. I got back up and placed a pillow beside him and went to the kitchen to test.

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35.

Yep. It was then that I could not feel my mouth at all – not just tingly, numb lips, my entire face from my nose down may as well have been shot up with Novocaine. It was hard to chew the glucose tabs. It wasn’t until my BG started to come up that I realized we had juice in the fridge as well as Erik’s regular soda sitting right beside the fridge.

When I went back to bed, I looked at my Dexcom, still hanging on the hook above my pillow, to see what had happened. I dropped from around 160/180 range to LOW within an hour.

I never heard the alerts. (I emphasize this because it’s something that I can’t make my mind grasp.)

I don’t know how it happens, but this has happened more than once where it’s my son to wake me up from a low and not the Dexcom. I think he’s got some sort of sixth sense about it. I’ve heard the same types of stories from other moms who have diabetes. Maybe there’s  a bond there that no one else can have with us. It’s sad, but it’s pretty cool too. Either way, I’m just thankful for it.

Friday Pictures

Because my brain is mush right now, I’m going to just share a few pictures. 🙂 Enjoy!

Mr. Skunky
It helps to write the date you opened your insulin on the vial. Mr. Skunky is not nice to find when you can’t remember how old it is.

tandem tweet
Tandem read my post. I’m glad they’re taking my concern to heart. 🙂
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I’m eagerly awaiting t:connect’s availability, which has been promised to us by the “end” of March…
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My kid. I love him. Happy #bluefridays !

CAT!… and schoosh

E and Lucky

I have been worried for so long that E hasn’t been talking. He’s hung on tightly to his three choice words – Mamaa!, Dad, and mo’ (more).  And I’ve been trying to work with him, pointing to objects, saying the name of the object, and if it’s an animal, I’ll mimic the sound that animal makes all in efforts to get him to talk.

Lately, his big word is CAT! We have our two cats, Lucky and Sophie, and he absolutely loves them. Lucky loves E, but Sophie just runs and hides. I mean, come on, Lucky even let’s E pull his tail, “pet” (lightly hit) his head, and whatever else E want’s to do to him. And for a while, we were stuck only on the word CAT! (I say that with emphasis of capital letters to let you imagine that they’re not just cats… they’re CAT!s….) This video is his subtle way of saying it… most of the time we’re greeted with a very excited toddler who is practically yelling CAT at us so that we’ll let them out of their room that they stay in at night.

As of last night, we have a new word. Schoosh (shoes). And he caught on very fast. So, he would sit on his little kiddie couch and, with his pj’s on, try to put on his schoosh with a determined effort, only to hand it to me and stick his foot up at me to put it on. Yes… at 10pm last night, we had a toddler all ready for bed, with schoosh on for him to walk into dreamland.

This morning, I attempted to do the same as always and name the parts of his outfit as I was dressing him. Except when it came time to put on his hat…. and I said “Hat… can you say hat? Hhhaaaatt…”, he just gave me this puzzled look and with excitement said,

CAT!

Contemplating

The KidletLately, it seems no matter what we do, E stays sick. If it’s a fever with teething, it’s a full-on snot-fest. Now, with the added seasonal asthma speculation, it’s just another thing to add to think about. This week, he’s been coughing, sniffing, sneezing, all the icky green sickie you can be but without a fever. And I JUST had him at the pediatrician not even a week and half ago.

Erik and I both work. We have to so that we can make ends meet and still have a little wiggle room for whatever may come. But lately I’ve been contemplating to see if even trying to re-budget things would work and if me keeping him at home would be better. Part of me wants to think that it’s not going to make it better… that it’s just seasonal and his body has to learn to cope with sickness around him and that I can’t keep him in a bubble. The other part of me thinks it would benefit him so much more. I’ve contemplated working just part-time to help pay for what little I can and then keeping him the rest of the day so that he’s not exposed to germs as long, but then again, he’ll still be exposed to them…so he’ll probably end up sick anyway.

I just don’t know what do to. Tough it out, make a little change or make a huge change. It’s something I’m thinking and praying about. I’m hoping I’ll get the answer I need.