The One Where I Become My Own Philosopher

Choices.

Preferences.

We all have our own. We’re all different – some more than others – and we have to live our lives with whatever choices or preferences are best for us, not for everyone else.

I’m the sort of person who gets easily wrapped up in the common thing. The popular thing. I’m also one to want the latest and greatest of all technology to feed my inner geekiness.

As with all things, sometimes, it’s best to step back from the OOoooo’s and AAAAHHhhhh’s of whatever it is you’re looking at and just think about the basics and compare needs to options and make the best decision for YOU, not because someone else is doing it.

Think about what is going to work for you for the long-haul. Think about what is going to make your life flow. Every choice will have speed bumps to go with it, but it helps to think about it and make the one the choice that will have the least speed bumps in your own flow of life.

Make reasonable choices off of the facts.

Not all that glitters is gold… and all gold doesn’t glitter at every angle.

I’m not just saying this in reference to insulin pumps or meters or any other diabetes technology, although it is what spurred the thought process for me. But it also applies to anything in life, really.

Okay, I’m done being my own philosopher today.

Have a great Wednesday!

Decision Deadline

So I’ve been debating something for about a year now, and especially since having BabyK.

I’ve never liked wearing medic alert jewelry because I’ve always thought that to make it pretty takes away from the “emergency” part and would have it just be assumed to be a regular piece of jewelry, not its intended purpose. So, for a long time, I resulted to buying the plain looking stuff just so I knew EMS or whoever would see it would know immediately what it was. I’ve also thought of the car window stickers, but seeing as how my hubby and I trade off vehicles, I don’t want them to assume that he is the one diabetic and not give him proper treatment if something were to happen.

For a while now, I’ve been seeing the word “Diabetic” tattooed on people’s wrists. Some embelish with the red alert symbol, some with dates, some even just have “IDDM”. I think it’s a great idea for those who are willing to have it permanently written on them. I, myself, have been debating this very thing.

{Don’t worry.. this is just a test to see if I could stand having a word written on me and seeing it myself all the time.}

Now that I see it, I’m even more torn. I guess if I could have it in small letters? Of course there would be a different font. Different color? Maybe put the blue circle behind it? Or do I do it at all?

A lot of my family would say not to because it’s in the Bible not to have tattoos. And yes, if you look at the verse itself, it does. But if you take it into context, He is warning His people to not to conform to the cults religious worship practices that include cutting their hair a certain way, eating certain meats, and cutting and marking themselves in certain ways.  Besides, I already have the flower on my hip that’s been there almost two years now. What’s one more?

Well, the “one more” would be that I am worried about what questions my son may have, and how to handle it if he were to approach me wanting one. I don’t want him to think it’s a decision to take lightly and be like so many youngin’s now that are covered head-to-toe by the time they’re 18 1/2 and then filled with regret when they’re in their 20’s or getting declined for jobs due to them.

It is still a debate in my head. I’m not jumping to do anything right now. I am trying, though, to make the decision over the next 1 1/2 years. If I get it, it will be on my 25th diaversary – 11/22/2013. Until then, I’ll just write it there myself. Or maybe order custom washable tattoos?

Decisions, Decisions…

“This post is my October entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/october-dsma-blog-carnival/“

The question has been asked:

What types of decisions and frequency of diabetes related decisions do you make in any given day?

dsc_6136Well, let’s talk about part A of that question… the types of decisions… for just a moment.

Decisions of Necessity:

1. Do I need this cupcake? (hehee) no… for real… Do I?

2.  Do I need to change my site/set today?

3. I need to check my sugar.. I’m not feeling right.

4. I need to check my supplies to see if it’s time to reorder.

5. I need to refill my diabetes travel kit.

 

Decisions of choice…

1. Do I *eh-hem* need  the chocolate cupcake or the vanilla? Or maybe a different flavor  all together?

2. Should I take a stroll in the park to lower my bg or just take the extra insulin?

3. Should I pack glucose tabs or fruit gummies for possible lows today?

 

Aaaannnd, on to part B.. the frequency of the decisions.

There’s really no bullet-point that I can do to this. It just needs explanation.

Some days, every single thing I do is in relation to a diabetes decision I have made. For example, if my day starts off with a high bg, I can pretty well tell you that my bg levels are going to be all over the place for that day, and I have to keep a close eye on what’s going on as to avoid going so high I can’t control it and possibly ending up in the ER with DKA (oh how we diabetics love our acronyms!). Or the days when nothing I do will bring up a low. I could exhaust all there is in the pantry and still fight a low thirty minutes past when I treated last. These are the days that pretty well every hour of the day, I can make upwards of 10 diabetes-related decisions. To bolus or not to bolus again. To eat a snack or put it off. To check my blood sugar again or bypass it this time. To check or not to check ketones. To change out my set/site to see if it’s the cause of the highs or wait another hour. There’s just so many possibilities!

Then there are days that the decisions are simple because diabetes is actually giving me a “freebie” day. A day where everything just seems to work and align with the stars and I score most blood sugars in the low 100’s. These are the days where the only decisions I have would be what and when to eat and how to bolus for said food.

 

I guess the main thing one would have to realize is that even though you don’t see it (hence the term “invisible illness”), a diabetic’s mind is programmed to make pretty much every decision a diabetes related decision. Why? Because the slightest thing we do and not think of how it could impact us would be the one thing that would throw us off the biggest. Don’t think eating one Starburst will hurt? Maybe, maybe not. But if you’re already on a climb up the sticky slope of sugar, you’ve just helped it along a bit. If I honestly rattled off verbally what my mind thinks throughout the day in relation to my diabetes, you would be so sick of hearing it. Then again, maybe that would help bring more awareness to diabetes.

But, then again, that might just get me a one-way ticket to a mental ward as well.

17

17w2dSo, I’m 17 weeks (+2days) along now. BabyK has been moving up a little storm in there over the past week, but today he’s been quiet (I’m saying “he” only because saying “He/she” is a little weird and saying “It” just… well, doesn’t sound right). I will have to say though, music is beginning to be his favorite thing. I can sit back and sing, listen to music or even play the piano and he responds. Pretty cool, huh?

Of course, now that I know what he feels like when he moves, I get worried when I don’t feel him at his normal active time. I had to keep reminding myself Saturday and yesterday that it wasn’t my work week, so I wasn’t going to be sitting still at 10-11am for his little acrobatic movements to be felt. So I kept trying to make myself just sit in the quiet to feel him. Of course, it didn’t always work but I tried. I started to worry when I didn’t feel him this morning, but he’s right back at his little pokes now.

Later this week is my endo appointment Wednesday. It’s one that I’m kinda dreading and at the same time wanting to have because, like always, I’m scared he’ll fuss because of the highs (which he has never done since I’ve started seeing him – it’s just a phobia of mine) but I know it’s something we have got to get handled and quickly and for some reason I have not been able to successfully make my own adjustments that work. My timing for pre-bolusing is changing (some needing to be 30 minutes ahead, others needing to be only 15 minutes ahead), and I can tell my noon and supper-time IC ratios or basal rates might need to be changed as well because those are the times I’m really peaking, even though I’m coming back in range later. Lots of changes!

I will have to admit though. I am still kind of upset that the last A1c wasn’t lower. I know I shouldn’t beat myself up about it – heck, I try to encourage anyone with any A1c low or “high” by medical standards – but when it’s myself, I can’t shake it. Sans pregnancy, I’d probably be okay with it, but right now I’m just not. And I need to shake it off and get over it.

I did call today to find out pricing on the 3D/4D ultrasound from my OB’s office. Their office charges $200 and it’s not billed through insurance, so it would be out of pocket. On one hand, I would love to have it because it will be done at 28 weeks, which will be the half-way point between the upcoming ultrasound (in 21 days! woot!!) and baby delivery and it may ease my mind about how things are going and I’ll get to see what my little one looks like… and we’ll get to analyze the pictures like we did with my sister-in-law’s to see who the baby looks like more. On the other hand, that’s $200 that could go towards stocking up on things like diapers, wipes, baby wash, lotions, and powder. Not to mention to get the “fill-in” things that we don’t get at the baby showers. I’m torn… I mean, really. to the point of tears even (holy hormones, batman!). I rreeeealllly  want to see him moving around in there and see what his face looks like, but I also know that it would be smarter to save the money for the future (hello no maternity leave allowance! – one downside to working with a small business). It’s a big war between my heart and brain as to what I want and what we need. I guess if mine and Erik’s side work picks up, we may reconsider it, but the way it’s looking right now, I may just opt not to and save the money for those soon-to-be poopy diapers.