Healing

I can remember for years being prayed for at the altar of my church. There were hands outstretched towards and on me as dear saints prayed fervently for the healing of my body… that I would go home as a whole person – without diabetes. Now, before I go any further, let me say that I do believe in the healing power of the Lord. I have heard of and have seen people healed fully. While I have seen this and believe that it can happen, it is something that apparently is not in the cards for me right now. I believe that IF the Lord so chooses, He will in His time.

But healing can come in other forms as well.

One conversation that came up the night of the dinner was asked by Mr. Tom Karlya. Because of a relationship situation that happened with his daughter, she told him that she felt “broken”.

This hit home with me.

For years, I felt “broken”. And because I was never “healed”, I would continue to be broken. Who would ever want to live with someone as damaged as I was? Who needed constant 24/7 monitoring? Who at any given moment could pass out or be in an ER, or heaven forbid could die in their sleep, leaving them heartbroken and alone?

But then I learned something. Healing doesn’t always have to be physical. It can be an emotional healing as well. To quote a verse from the song sung by The Perry’s {I Rest My Case At The Cross – by Kyla Rowland}

“There’s a covenant sweet, it was written for me,
It’s a promise that I could be healed..
From All my sin and my shame,
Even heartache and pain,
It was signed and confirmed on a Hill.”

And from the Bible:

So while, yes, there is a physical side of healing, there is an emotional side that has to come too. Diabetes is a very emotionally draining disease. You are constantly bombarded with feeling like you have to be perfect and since diabetes there is no perfect in the diabetes world, you feel like you constantly fail. And because you have are on this roller-coaster of good day/ bad day along with the thinking that if you mess up, you are failing, but if you didn’t have a bum pancreas, you would never have been in this situation in the first place so therefore you feel broken {deeep breath}….

Some healing comes from accepting that your body is how God made it to be. He made you who you are for a reason. (Psalm 139:14) The emotional pain that comes with living with a chronic condition is hard, but we don’t have to bear it ourselves. We can let go and let Him restore our souls. Every time our hearts are in pain and feeling like we have once again been cut by the knife of a high A1c or unrelenting low or high blood sugar, we can tell Him we are in pain and need him to heal the hurt, and because He has promised us that He will, He does. Sometimes right then and there, sometimes over time.

I love the DOC. The emotional support that I find there is beyond what I ever imagined. But far beyond what can ever be found there, is the emotional healing that comes from Him.

So, in the words of one of my dearest and best friends – when it gets tough – Breath ~ Pray ~Relax.

In this, I have found my healing.