Okay, so remember yesterday I talked about being on all these loops?? Well, I was thrown for another one this morning.
Last night, my OB called to tell me that all my blood work and my 24hr urine collection results came back great, and that he was actually shocked given my history with diabetes and renal disease (I had kidney problems about 10 years ago which from my understanding, had reversed itself with tight bg control), and that the protein levels were no worse than someone who was a healthy, non-diabetic pregnant ladyâ€¦. all to which I was elated. So, the ruling for the swelling and random star-flashes is that it can be normal in pregnancy and I need to deal with it. (And no, he didnâ€™t say it like that, but thatâ€™s the gist of it.) Then, this morning, I get a call from his nurse. She wanted to be sure he had called me back last night. She went back over the results, but said it in a slightly different way. She said that the results came back good considering my diabetes and renal history.
What is THAT supposed to mean???
So, I go from feeling wonderful about this pregnancy.. that somehow I had done something good and that my body really was able to handle pregnancy just like any other woman and that it didnâ€™t affect me that bad and I may actually be around a long time for this kid, to feeling an instant rush of panic. â€œOMG, so Iâ€™m just in the good range for a diabetic? Iâ€™m not in the good range for a normal, healthy person? So that means I actually do have raised levels? Iâ€™m probably at risk for having to go back on pills for my kidneys once again not because of lack of control but because I decided to have a baby in the midst of having a body-wrecking disease????â€
Then she tells me my A1câ€¦ 6.9. The highest since becoming pregnant. I swear, if anyone had walked into where I work at the time, they would have seen a 9 month pregnant woman doing everything she could not to lose what little bit of hope and happiness she had. Everything seemed to pile on me at once, and I felt like I had been a failure somehow. Had I gone through this pregnancy trying to do everything possible to keep this baby protected from what my disease could do to him just to have it all slip away in the last month?
I know a lot of this has to do with the hormones and just the general uncomfortableness and wanting this baby out of me. The pregnancy is coming to an end and Iâ€™m going through the transition of loving being pregnant to, wellâ€¦. NOT loving it, dealing with the worry of how things are going to go and how Iâ€™m going to protect him on the outside, and the realization that Iâ€™ve only got less than two weeks until this transition occurs. The overwhelming knowledge that very, very soon, there will be a baby â€“ my baby â€“ in my arms.
After having my little down-fit, I called the OB office back and requested that the results be sent to my endoâ€™s office. I know they usually do, but I wanted to be sure he got them because I trust his judgment of my diabetes care over my OB. I wanted to be sure he had them so I could discuss them with him when I go for my appointment Monday.
I am also going tomorrow morning for my 37 week (well, almost 38 week) OB appointment. Iâ€™m going to see if theyâ€™ll go ahead and schedule the induction date then so we can have a definitive date to mark on the calendar of BabyKâ€™s arrivalâ€¦ that is unless he decides itâ€™s time to come before then and I magically go into labor between now and the date set. That way Erik can know when to take off from work and I can schedule a few days off before to make sure I have everything ready for the hospital stay and be sure the house and BabyKâ€™s room is 100% (or as close to it) ready for him to come home with us. Iâ€™ve said since the middle of the pregnancy that I felt sure he was going to be a July babyâ€¦ and we still have 11 days left for that to happen. But with the way my primary OB sounded last night, the induction is still going to be set for the week after I turn 39 weeks (Iâ€™ll be 39 weeks on Saturday, July 30th). Iâ€™ll be sure to update tomorrow as to what the on-call OB says.