Tag Archives: Stress

Is The Honeymoon Coming To An End?

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I have been having a time keeping my blood sugars in line lately. They have been all over the place, but mostly peppering the 160-300 area. I knew my insulin resistance was coming back since it was remarkable that I would only still need a third of my usual insulin dose since the baby was born.

It seems that looking back, my numbers started increasing after I had a nasty stomach bug a few weeks ago. I thought it was just from the sickness and then it would go back down, but I’m over that and they haven’t. It’s like I’m PMSing 24/7 now. I’m constantly worn out, groggy, draggy, and just all around depressed and ill. I don’t like being that way, especially when it interferes with family and friends. My head has hurt every day for a week now, and my throat is sore, but I am not sick – not stuffy at all, no pressure (other than the headache), nada, so I’m summing it up to being dehydrated. All because of the constant highs.

Earlier in the week, I vlogged about having meter burnout (sorta like diabetes burnout – not being tired of everything, just not wanting to see the number on the meter because you know what’s going to be there). Since then, I have made an effort to check.. or at least try to.. more often… just sticking to a minimum of 5 (fasting, pre-breakfast {there’s usually a good 2 hours between these}, pre-lunch, pre-supper, and bedtime). That would be a lot more than the 2-3 average and would give me more numbers to work with. Since then, I’ve noticed I need more insulin.. not much.. but just a bit more basal insulin. I’ve ran a temp basal of 115% for 2 days and it seems to be helping bring me down to the 120-150 range, which I am more comfortable with. Seems the awesome barely-needing-insulin honeymoon is coming to an end for me. And that’s okay, just means I have to be back on my game a little more now until things settle down a bit.

I’m not going to strive to be perfect with diabetes anymore, because honestly, you can’t be perfect. It’s like trying to force oil and water to mix… try as you may, it just doesn’t work. Taking baby-steps to get back in the groove. To find a new normal now that I’m more comfortable being both a mom and a diabetic {yeah, yeah.. it took me 6 months to get here, I know!}.

{Speaking of baby-steps, guess who started being able to sit by himself this week??}

More Like Fifty Percent

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I’m not sure what to write today. I have lots of things going on, and diabetes has really taken a back-seat since before vacation. I wanted to take a vacation from D-management along with my vacation for relaxation with my hubs, but since getting back, I’ve had too much going on mentally to even think about diabetes. I’ve been doing my best to control it as much as I can, but I haven’t been able to give 110%… more like, 50%. Just enough to get by so to speak.

Doing things like, letting a 200 stay a 200 just because I don’t want to do the math. Or, correcting a 41 bg with 3 tablespoons of sugar (yes, I eat it by the tablespoon straight from the jar) and a glass of milk without going into my pump to see if I maybe need to bolus to correct a possible overcorrection just because it would take time that my mind didn’t have set aside for me. Filling my cartridge all the way and going 4 days between refills/site replacements instead of 3 just because I was too lazy to look at my last 3 days worth of insulin to figure what I may need for the next three days. Or sitting in front of the TV, eating almost half of a bowl of Hershey’s Candy Cane kisses just because they were there without even giving as much thought to bolusing for them until 15-20 minutes later when I realize that all those wrappers are the evidence of my rampage that hadn’t been bolused for yet.

I’ve been letting a lot slide, and I know I shouldn’t. I’m hoping that once things kinda mellow out I’ll be able get refocused and “back in the saddle” again. I’ve been so out of sorts, and it’s truly thanks to some very special people in my life that I’ve been able to keep my sanity since coming home. They’ve been my rocks to lean on. If there were a word that described what someone could be for you that would mean something more sacred than family and more valuable than true friendship, it would be what I would use to describe these people.

Thank you to all of my readers for putting up with me through this. I have a few other posts in mind, so maybe if I have time tonight, I’ll get them ready for posting this week.

So, until then, take care and y’all come back now, ya hear? Winking smile

My Internal Restart

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Last month, Erik and I talked about taking a vacation. We both needed it and, since we hadn’t been anywhere together since we had gotten married three years ago, we decided to go for it. We didn’t “go all out”, but we just took a ride north-west to Gatlinburg, Tennessee to spend a few days to unwind before the hectic winter season began for us.

Snowy Hike 2On Monday, we went on a hike up a mountain to get to Grotto Falls. We had gone up the hill before, but when we had gone, there were lots of people and as soon as I got there, my camera died, so we didn’t get good pictures. This time, I was determined. I had a fully charged battery in the camera, along with a spare to boot. What I wasn’t planning on was the snow. You would think I would have thought of this, but I didn’t. So, almost immediately, we ran into snow, sludge, mud, and just general ickyness. We managed to make it up through all of it to get to the falls. There was lots of snow, some icecicles being upwards of 2 inches in diameter, and lots of ice on the walkway that you had to be careful walking on and around.

Grotto FallsBut even though the effort to trek up there wasn’t wonderfully glorious, the waterfall was. I could have sat there all day if there had been a dry place to sit. The snow and ice had everything wet, and we couldn’t sit and enjoy it like we had before. (Note, it doesn’t look like much snow around the fall, but it’s because of the angle I took the shot. If you could have seen behind, it looked much like the picture above where Erik is bravely treking through the mud and sludge to get to the top.)

As beautiful as it was, we had to get down the mountain. I tried to pre-game for this hike as much as I could to try to avoid the drastic low bg I had the last time, but it got me again. I had already turned my pump off before the hike, but I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be enough. True to form, half way up the mountain, my CGM started alarming. So, I grabbed the big bottle of glucose tabs, chewed four of them with a swig of Dr. Pepper and kept going, just not as hard. This kept going. By the time we got to the top of the mountain, I had eaten 16 glucose tabs, drank half a bottle of Dr Pepper, and learned that 3 beeps means I’m at the “70 or below” mark and 4 beeps means that I’m at the “55 or below” mark. I also learned that if we ever do the hike again, I HAVE to pack more than glucose tabs. Something with protein like a protein bar or even a peanut butter sandwich would have been good. That was error on my part. Lesson learned.

Tuesday, we went up to Uber Gatlinburg. It’s not that big of a place, just really an attraction site, with lots of games, little shops, and an ice-skating rink. But the reason why we go is to take the chair lift to the top of the mountain. It’s a pretty steep ride, but once you get up there, it’s beautiful. You can see the whole town of Gatlinburg, as well as a large aerial view of several mountains far off.

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Erik was finally able to relax in the peace and quiet of the mountain top, while I walked around snapping pictures. A few other people were up there as well, but they didn’t bother us. It was nice and relaxing. One lady offered to take our picture, and I’m glad she did. Erik finally smiled a true, genuine smile. Something I haven’t seen in a long time. And I’ve got it “on film”:

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In part, I’m glad to be home. But mostly, I wish I were still there. In the peace and quiet of God’s creation. There’s something about it that revives me. It pushes my internal “restart” button the way nothing else can.

So, a big “Thank You” to Cherise, George, Alexis and Martin for guest blogging for me this week. I really do appreciate having you guys help me out while Erik and I were on vacation! You guys are so awesome and I’m proud to have you guys as my friends and fellow d-bloggers.