The past two days have been a real eye-opener.
I’m upset by what was said, and what has been said, on all sides of the fence (if there could be more than two, that is) of this whole Ms Manners issue. There has been backlash, and back-backlash.
What happened to us? I mean, all of us… myself included.
People used to say, “The DOC made a big impact in my life.” “The DOC ‘gets’ me”. “I feel at home in the DOC.”
As time has gone on, I see more and more people becoming dissatisfied, disapproving, disappointed, hurt, angry, and upset by how someone or a group of people has reacted or how they’ve been treated themselves. More people are voicing themselves in ways that aren’t nice or polite because it’s behind a computer screen. It doesn’t take long to see just how some people feel about how things are either scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, and mostly, through the My Diabetes Secret page.
And I’ll be the first person to admit that I have, at times, been one of those people acting not-so-nice.
And I’ll also tell you that I have also been one who has been talked down, ganged on, and hurt by others in the DOC.
What happened to us?
Have we become so wrapped up in the name of “advocacy” that we hurt those with little to no knowledge of diabetes? Have we become so wrapped up in crusading the cause with determination that we lose sight of what the actual cause is?
It seems there is always a fight going on somewhere… and if it’s been quiet lately, that means there’s inevitably a big one coming soon. That’s what happened yesterday. I’m upset with myself for how I reacted. I was hurt and I reacted through that hurt in an improper manner. I’m upset with how others retaliated towards us who were upset. Just seems there was a lot of retaliation against everyone in one form or another.
And I’m tired of it.
I’m heartbroken that the DOC that I used to call “home” doesn’t seem to be “home” anymore. I can’t change everyone else or their opinions, but I can certainly change mine.
So, with that being said, in the case of the Ms. Manners post, my opinion is that the reader should test where they feel comfortable, not where someone says in correct manners to test. Testing in restrooms is not only unsanitary, but also is not very private at times. The restrooms in airplanes (or at least the one I used) was not at ALL like the ones you see on TV, rather the toilet was absolutely-right-beside the sink/counter top, and I don’t even want to know what may have splashed / spilled / whatever on that counter top where you would be placing your kit, so by all means, if the person next to you is okay with you testing your blood sugar, go for it. The reason I was upset by Ms. Manner’s response was not that she was rude in saying what she did, but that she implied that diabetes care should be hidden. I have been a diabetic for over 25 years now. For 20 of those years, I was embarrassed to be a diabetic, mostly because of things people said such as what she stated in her opinion. Even still today, I still try to hurry through testing so no one will see because, for some reason deep down, it’s something I feel ashamed of… and I shouldn’t. Her response hit on an emotional level that I thought I had buried deep away, but quickly had resurfaced. I responded in a rude post, which I have deleted because, well, it was rude, and did absolutely nothing in the name of advocacy.
What I write won’t please everyone. It won’t be up to some people’s standards or definition of optimal advocacy. But what I do write henceforth, I pledge to write nice, and in the name of honest advocacy. While some views may be negative ones, I will strive to write them with grace and dignity that anyone should.